Playing With Fire (Guarded Hearts) Read online

  "Well, last time I was here, we were talking about how great Carter, Holly, and Anthony had turned out. You'd said that you were proud of all of them, even though sometimes you wished you could duct tape Anthony's mouth closed."

  Everyone started hysterically laughing. It was great to see my family so happy and to know that it was because of the girl I loved. Maddy was going to make dinner tonight, just like on Thanksgiving, but Holly offered to help this time.

  We went into my room to put our bags away. Once I closed the door, Maddy threw herself at me. I was so surprised that I dropped the bags. She kissed me, but it wasn't one of those "I wanna rip your clothes off kisses." It was a "let me show you how much I love you" kiss. "Not that I'm complaining, but what was that for?"

  "I love you so much, Carter James. Thank you so much for everything you do for me, and for making me a part of your family."

  "It's my pleasure, baby." I gave her another kiss.

  "I need to go start dinner."

  Madison

  Holly and I were cooking while the boys were watching the football game.

  "Hey, Mads?" I stopped peeling the potatoes and turned around to look at her. She'd stopped cutting the vegetables and was looking at me.

  "Yeah?" I wondered what she wanted to talk to me about. Holly was nice, although we had really only spent time together that one day shopping. Let's be honest, heart-to-hearts don't really happen in the mall.

  "I just wanted to tell you thank you."

  Was she thanking me for the present again? I still couldn't believe Carter didn't plan on getting his family anything for Christmas. "For what?"

  "For making my brother so happy. After mom died, Carter kind of shut down. He never considered being serious with anyone because I think he was scared they'd leave him like she did."

  I saw tears building in her eyes. Please don't cry. I thought. I'm a baby and it doesn't take a lot to get me there.

  "The only time he ever came close was with this girl, Alyssa, senior year and she was a nasty bitch." We both laughed. "She only lasted a week, though, thank God!"

  Now she sparked my interest. "Why? What happened?"

  "He caught her giving the quarterback a blow job in the locker room." I choked on the water I was drinking. OH MY GOD! "Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I've never seen him happier. You're the cause of it and I'm so grateful to you for that." I walked over to her and hugged her, and then the water works started for both of us.

  We didn't even hear Anthony walk into the kitchen. "Hell, yes! Girl-on-girl! But, could I call someone to take Holly's place ‘cause she's my sister."

  I picked up one of the cooked potatoes and threw it at him. It hit him in the face and splattered everywhere. The look on his face was hilarious. Holly and I broke into hysterics.

  "That was not cool!" he shouted at us while wiping away potato. Just then, Carter and his dad came in, surveyed the scene, and started laughing. "Carter, where did your girl get such good aim? I need to go take a shower now." Anthony walked back to the bathroom while we were all still laughing.

  Carter walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. "I loved hearing him say my girl," he whispered in my ear.

  My whole body was on high alert now. I leaned back and gave him a kiss. "Well, your girl needs to get back to cooking. Would you mind cleaning up that potato?"

  "Sure, baby." He kissed me and then grabbed the paper towels. Holly and I had a great time cooking together. She was telling me that her and her friend, Christen, got early acceptance to Duke. I was excited that she'd be there next year.

  Dinner was really good, and Carter said he and Anthony would clean up. After they were done, we said our good nights and went to hang out in his room. We watched a movie. This time, I let Carter choose it. He picked "The Exorcist" and I was pretty sure that was just because he wanted me to cuddle up with him. He didn't need a scary movie for that, though.

  After the movie, he turned to me and laughed at the horrified expression on my face. He leaned down and kissed me, the kind of kiss where I felt all of his passion. I could lose myself in Carter so easily, and I really wanted to. I couldn't, though...not here and not with all his family home. He moved his hand up my side and over my breast. I could tell where this was going and it was getting there fast. "Carter, stop." He looked at me and seemed worried.

  "I don't want to do this here. Your family is home and I'm not comfortable."

  "Babe, it's okay. My dad doesn't care." He leaned down to kiss me again, but I moved my head to the side.

  "Well, I do." I felt horrible. I couldn't get over feeling that this was wrong.

  I could see he was disappointed and I hated that I was the one who did it. "Okay, I guess I have to respect that. I love you, Maddy. Good night." He lay back and pulled me to his side.

  "I love you too."

  * * *

  Carter wanted to show me around today and the first stop was the coffee shop he always went to. When we walked in, I took a look around. It was really cute. There were a couple of booths and tables, and there was soft music playing in the background. Carter had his arm around me. I loved how he was always touching me. If he didn't have his arm around me, his hand would be on my back or interlaced with my hand.

  This was just another way that he made me feel so safe and wanted. I couldn't help but notice the blonde behind the counter giving me dirty looks. What the hell was her problem? Carter hadn't noticed her yet.

  When it was our turn to order, the blonde looked him up and down. "Carter James, where have you been hiding?"

  He looked up and I saw recognition and surprise in his eyes. "Alyssa?"

  Alyssa? The bitch whore who cheated on him, Alyssa? I now took a better look at her-her blonde hair reached down to about the middle of her back, her clothes looked expensive and her boobs were about to pop out of her shirt.

  "How have you been, Carter?" She still had yet to acknowledge my presence, except for the dirty looks she'd been giving me earlier.

  "I…uh…I've been good." Jesus, Carter, talk much?!

  "That's good! I heard you were at Duke. I'm transferring there this semester." WHAT? Kill me now.

  "You are?" I shifted beside him, completely uncomfortable with this whole situation. He looked over at me. "This is my girlfriend, Madison."

  "Hi." I might as well try to be nice even if she was a witch.

  She turned my way and gave me a fake smile, then went right back to Carter. Bitch whore. "Girlfriend? I never thought that would happen!"

  Carter turned to me. "What do you want, babe?"

  Her head on a stick, preferably a really sharp one. "Can I get a medium caramel coffee with cream and sugar?"

  Once again, this bitch whore pretended like I wasn't even there. "What can I get you, Carter?" I could definitely see the hidden message there.

  "I'll just have a large coffee with cream and sugar. Also, a couple pieces of the lemon pound cake."

  We got our stuff and went to sit down at one of the booths. "So that was a little awkward, huh?"

  "Just a little."

  He turned to face me. "I should probably tell you how I know her."

  No, thanks. I didn't need to hear that story again. "It's okay, I already know. Holly told me all about her yesterday."

  He grabbed my hand and gave me a quick kiss. "Hey, don't let her ruin our day." He leaned in to kiss me again and lingered a little longer than he did before. When I pulled back, I saw that Alyssa was watching us. Take that, bitch whore, he's mine.

  After coffee, Carter took me to see his old school and there was a playground next to it. We played around on the swings and slide, and Carter made fun of how I couldn't make it all the way across on the monkey bars. When we were leaving, I ran up behind him and jumped on his back and he carried me back to his car like that. When we got in, I turned to him. "Thank you so much for today, Carter. I've never been to the playground, and I've never had so much fun in my life."

  "You've never be
en to a playground?"

  "No." I could feel myself starting to give in to a memory. It felt like a mix of anxiety and fear gripping at my throat. No, not right now.

  My father was sitting in the living room watching TV. "Daddy, can you take me to the park?" All the other kids in school always talked about the park, but I never went. I just wanted to be like the other kids. "Daddy?"

  He took another drink and then he looked down at me. "Your mother could have taken you to the park, but you killed her."

  NO! I didn't kill Mommy. A guy who was drinking had. Daddy drank a lot and it scared me. "Daddy, please! I didn't kill Mommy! I loved her!"

  His hand hit my face and I fell down. "Get away from me. I can't stand the sight of you."

  "Maddy!" Carter was shaking me and the look in his face was one of fear. I realized I had tears streaming down my face. He pulled me against him and started stroking my hair. He pulled back and looked at my face. "What just happened?"

  "I'm sorry. It was just a bad memory."

  "Was it about Chris?"

  "No, my father."

  "Would you tell me about it, please?" I'd never talked to anyone about my dad, but Carter made me feel like I could tell him anything. After I told him, he pulled me to him and we stayed like that for a while. "You know that none of that was your fault, right?"

  "For the longest time I didn't, but I do now."

  Chapter Eight

  Carter

  This day was not going like I'd planned. First, Alyssa was at the coffee shop. I still couldn't believe she was coming to Duke. I could tell Maddy was uncomfortable with the situation.

  Then, the memory of her dad came after I'd cheered her up. I hated him for what he did to her, and I hated how much hurt she'd experienced in her life.

  I took Maddy to one of my favorite seafood restaurants to try to salvage the day. I saw her looking at the menu with a strange look on her face. It was the one she'd make when she didn't know what to do, but was too shy to ask. "What's wrong?"

  She looked up at me, surprised. "How do you always know what I'm thinking, or when something is wrong?"

  "Because I'm in love with you. It's my job to know what you like and what you don't. To understand what makes you uncomfortable and know how to fix it. I know what's going on in your head before you even say it and what you need before you even tell me. You think you're a burden to me, but you're not. You're everything. Now, what's wrong, babe?"

  Her smile was so big that I actually thought her cheeks might crack. I love that I had the ability to put that smile on her face, and I made it my mission to make it happen more often. "That was probably one of the sweetest things I've ever heard. I love you so much, Carter. To answer your original question, though, I've never had seafood before and I have no idea what to order."

  I forgot how little she'd experienced. It made me so mad to think about how shitty her life had been. She deserved everything, but had absolutely nothing. She never even got to enjoy most of the basic experiences normal people did, because no one ever cared enough to give them to her.

  That was the past, though, and I was going to enjoy giving her all these new experiences. "I do believe this will be yet another first that belongs to me, then. If you want, I could order for you. I think I know what you like." I smiled at her and gave her a wink, letting her know what else I was thinking of. I hated that she'd put a stop to sex while we were here, but I loved her reason behind it.

  She blushed that beautiful shade she did. "You definitely know what I like, Mr. James."

  I ordered our food and hoped Maddy would like what I picked out for her. The restaurant had a dance floor and a song came on that I recognized. I grabbed her hand and she looked up at me. "Dance with me?"

  "I'd love to."

  I walked her out to the dance floor. They were playing Carrie Underwood's "Ever Ever After." As I listened to it, I realized how much it related to Maddy. She just needed to let me in and I'd give her a happily ever after. I kissed her once the song was over and we walked back to our table.

  The waitress brought our food and I ignored the fact that she lingered by me a little too long. Girls were always very obvious in their attempts, even when I was with Maddy. "I know it makes you uncomfortable when girls flirt with me and I get it. I just want you to know that I've been there and done all of that, but I've never been happier than I am with you."

  After dinner, we walked to my car and when we got there, Maddy pulled me into a hug. She snuggled into me like she did when we were in bed. "Thank you for today, Carter. It was great."

  I lifted her chin with my finger and kissed her. "We still have one more stop."

  "Really? Where?"

  "It's a surprise, but I intend for it to also be another first, Miss Stevens."

  We pulled up to Midnight and I knew right away she recognized it. "You've taken me dancing before, babe."

  I smiled. "Yes, but tonight I'm going to get you drunk."

  She laughed. "Is that so you can take advantage of me later?"

  "Maybe…if you're lucky."

  She grinned at me and started walking to the door. "Oh…if I'm lucky, huh?"

  I walked her over to the bar and she started looking over the drink list. I saw the bartender, Paul. We went to high school together. I gave him a nod to say hello. Maddy tapped me on the shoulder and whispered in my ear, "Aren't they going to ask for ID?"

  "It's okay. I know the bartender, you're fine."

  She turned to Paul. "Can I get a Sex on the Beach?"

  I saw her cheeks blush and had to take advantage. "Damn, baby, I could have given you that." She elbowed me in the stomach. I liked it when she was feisty. Oh God, Anthony was rubbing off on me.

  "I'm going to go to the bathroom."

  "Okay, babe, I'll be here." While I waited for her to come back, I started looking around and saw the last person that I wanted to.

  Alyssa walked up to me and put her hand on my arm. "Hey, Carter, you look good. Ditch your girlfriend already?"

  I hated her so much. She screwed me over in high school. Now, she was trying to screw up my relationship with Maddy. Alyssa was one of those girls who considered herself superior to everyone else. She wore the most expensive shit cause she thought it was impressive, but nothing could cover up how ugly she was inside. I snatched my arm away from her.

  "No, Alyssa, I didn't. I'm with Madison so you need to take the hint and stay the hell away from both of us." Paul tapped me on the shoulder and handed me Maddy's drink. Just then, Maddy walked up beside me and I knew she wasn't happy that Alyssa was here. I leaned in and gave her a kiss, trying to reassure her. "Here's your drink, babe."

  "Thanks." She smiled at me, but I could tell it was forced.

  "Do you want to dance?"

  "Sure!" There was the genuine smile I was looking for.

  I sidestepped around Alyssa and led Maddy onto the dance floor. Once we got away from Alyssa, I pulled her close to me. "She came up to me, babe. I told her I was with you and to go away."

  "Okay. I just want to forget about her and enjoy tonight, though."

  "Sounds like a plan." After three hours and about five drinks, Maddy was drunk and was having a blast. I decided it was time to go, because I knew she was going to be feeling it in the morning. I settled my bill and started walking to the door with Maddy. Alyssa stepped in front of us. Damn, she couldn't take a fucking hint.

  "You weren't going to say goodbye, Carter?" She put her hands on her hips and pushed out her chest, as if that would change my mind about her. She looked like she was going to hug me and I was just about to tell her where she could put her hug.

  Just then, Maddy swatted her hand away from me. "He didn't say goodbye to you on purpose. He's mine, not yours." She grabbed me and kissed me. "Remember that next time, you bitch whore." Maddy grabbed my hand and started to lead me to the door. Drunk, angry Maddy was fucking hot!

  I drove us home and Maddy said she was feeling sick. Damn, I let her drink too much. Ever
yone else was in bed or out when we got home. I took Maddy to the bathroom because I had a feeling she would need it.

  "Why did you bring I…me in here?"

  Just then, I felt her lurch and rushed her to the toilet. She emptied her dinner and, I have to say, I'll never look at crab cakes the same again. "Stay here, baby. I'm gonna get you a change of clothes."

  "Okay, cutie Carter!"

  She was adorable, even now with her head resting on the toilet seat. Maddy got sick a couple more times. After about an hour, I could tell she was done. I helped her change out of her clothes and put on pajamas.

  "Remember, cutie Carter, no boom-boom in your room-room."

  I couldn't help but laugh at that. I helped her wash her face and brush her teeth. I handed her a glass of water and Tylenol, hoping it would ease her pain in the morning. We went into my room and lay down together. I wrapped her in my arms.

  "Carter?"

  "Yeah, babe?"

  "Will you take me to the beach?"

  I thought she hated the beach. Was that just an excuse not to go? "I tried to before, but you said you hated it."

  "I don't hate it. I just said that."

  "Why would you lie?"

  "Because the only time I've ever gone to the beach was with Chris. He got mad at me for wearing a bikini and looking like a whore. He took me home and beat me for the first time that day. I'd like to go there with you, though."

  Fuck! I hated that motherfucker with every inch of me. I wanted to change that memory for her. "I'll take you tomorrow, babe."

  "Okay. I love you, cutie."

  "I love you, too, Maddy."

  Madison

  The next week went by really fast. Carter had taken me to Myrtle Beach that day, just like he said he would. He got us a hotel room that night, because he said he couldn't wait to get me in a bed that wasn't in his dad's house.

  We went to the beach, but it was chilly so Carter didn't get me in a bikini like he wanted to. We also went mini-golfing, had dinner, and did some shopping. It was a really great day and to thank Carter, I wore a bikini in the hotel room for him.