Playing With Fire (Guarded Hearts) Page 5

  He started pulling me toward the bed. What was he doing? At this point, I was too tired to care. He lay back down and pulled me with him. The way that he did it, I ended up straddling him. He took my face between his hands. "Listen to me, Maddy. You are not crowding me. I love being around you and if you let me, I'd never leave your side. I hate that you are so negative about yourself. Also, that asshole doesn't know what he's talking about. You deserve so much better than him, baby. And I just-"

  I crashed my lips into his and he let out a low moan that was by far the sexiest sound I'd ever heard. He dropped his hands to his sides. He was probably afraid to touch me after last time. "Carter, put your arms around me. Please, I need you."

  He wrapped me in an embrace so tight, and I'd never felt so wanted. When he kissed me, it was almost like I could feel his love pouring into my veins. I felt him getting hard underneath me and I pulled away.

  I wasn't ready for this.

  I felt like the walls were closing in on me and I was struggling to catch my breath. I felt like I was spinning in circles. I couldn't believe I was having an anxiety attack right now. When Carter realized what was going on, he laid me down on my side next to him, turned to face me, and I buried my head in his chest.

  It took me a few minutes, but I finally calmed down. I pulled my head back and looked up at him. He looked so worried that I was finally starting to understand that he really did care about me.

  "Maddy, please talk to me. I'm not mad at you, I promise. I really need you to tell me what's going on, though."

  "I don't think I can."

  "If this is about Chris, I can handle it. Just, please, don't shut me out. I'm here for you. All you need to do is let me in."

  "It isn't about him." This time my problems had nothing to do with Chris. I couldn't believe I was about to tell him this. "The first foster home I went to, my foster father abused me. He used to come into my room at night and make me touch him when he was hard. He used to tell me that once I got a little bit older, he couldn't wait to play with me. It started to get more frequent and I started to get really scared. I told my teacher at school, and they called the state. He denied it, but they relocated me immediately. I'm sorry that I freaked out on you." He didn't say anything. I probably disgusted him now. "I understand if you don't want anything to do with me anymore. I know I'm damaged goods."

  "Where do you get this stuff? You know what? Don't answer that. I already know." He grabbed my chin and made me look at him. "Chris is a sad excuse for a man. None of that was your fault. You were a victim. If you want me to stay with you tonight, nothing would make me happier."

  "I do."

  "Thank God, because I really didn't want to sleep on the couch while you were in here. I wanted to be in here with you." He kissed the top of my head. "What time should I set my alarm for tomorrow?"

  "Um…I need to put the turkey in the oven at six, but then I figured I'd go back to sleep for a couple of hours."

  "Okay, it's set. Goodnight, Maddy."

  "Good night, Carter."

  I love you.

  Carter

  I opened my eyes and looked at the clock. Jesus, it was three in the morning. What the hell was I doing up?

  "No, stop, please!"

  Shit, Maddy was having a nightmare. Somehow, she ended up on the other side of the bed. I pulled her over to me and rubbed her arm. "Hey, Maddy, wake up."

  "No, please, don't hurt him!" Who the hell was she talking about? "Chris, please, just leave him alone!"

  She couldn't even escape that asshole in her sleep. I shook her again. "Maddy, please open your eyes. It's just a dream." Her eyes flew open and she looked around, frantically trying to get her bearings. When she realized where she was, she buried her face in my chest and started crying. I just held her. I knew this was what she needed. She needed someone to care, and she needed to feel safe. When she finally stopped crying, she looked up at me. "Maddy, what was you dream about?"

  "I…uh…I don't remember."

  I knew she was lying, but I also didn't want to push her. "Okay, well, do you want to try and go back to sleep? It's still really early." She nodded her head and then closed her eyes. I held her tight, hoping I could protect her from whatever she didn't want to tell me. I knew it had something to do with Chris. She was scared of him. I needed to make her understand that I could keep her safe. I feel like he was the only thing standing between us right now, and it was driving me crazy.

  When my alarm started ringing, I turned it off and stared down at Maddy. She was still asleep in my arms. I wish I could wake up with her every morning, because it felt fucking fantastic. As much as I didn't want to, I had to wake her up.

  I rubbed her back gently. She stretched and looked up at me. The minute she met my eyes, she smiled and I couldn't help myself. I lowered my head and gave her a kiss. She pulled back right away and covered her mouth. Did I make her sick? She took her hand off her mouth, looked at me and laughed. What was so funny?

  "Morning breath."

  "I don't care what kind of breath you have." I kissed her once more. "Now, come on, we have a turkey to cook."

  I followed her into the kitchen and stood there being useless while she prepped the turkey and put it in the oven. I loved how comfortable she was here. When she was done, she looked up at me and smiled. I got caught staring at her this time.

  "Did you wanna go lie down again?"

  "That's up to you. Either way, I'm fine."

  "What do you mean?"

  I pulled her against me and held her. "Well, if we go back to bed, I get to hold you like this. If we stay up, we can watch TV and I'm pretty sure I'll get to hold you then too. So, you see, I win either way."

  She titled her head up toward me. "Oh really, and what makes you so confident?"

  "I'm not confident, just hopeful." She smiled at me, one of those smiles that made me want to kill everyone who had hurt her and made her cry. She didn't smile nearly enough, but I was going to change that.

  "What if I had a way to give you the best of both worlds? We could go in your room and watch TV. That way, you can hold me and we can still stay up together."

  I scooped her up and started walking to my room. She started to laugh, then covered her mouth. I dropped her off at the bathroom so she could brush her teeth, but once she came out, I picked her up again. I carried her to my room and threw her on the bed. She giggled and looked up at me.

  The sight of her lying across my bed was something I never wanted to forget. "I guess I should follow your lead and go brush my teeth. I'll be right back. Why don't you find something for us to watch?"

  When I got back in the room, she had found some old re-runs of "I Love Lucy." I'd never really watched this show, but she said she loved it. We stayed in bed for a couple hours. Then my stomach growled so loud, I swear she jumped. She looked at me and we both started to laugh. "I guess my stomach wants to eat."

  "Can I make breakfast for everyone?"

  "Really?"

  "Yeah. I mean, everyone will probably be hungry when they wake up. Your dad was so great to let me come and stay here. I just want to do something nice."

  "You know you're cooking a huge dinner tonight, right?"

  "We are cooking a huge dinner tonight and, yes, I know. I've never been in this kind of a family environment, though, and I just thought it would be nice for us all to have breakfast together. It's no big deal if you don't want to."

  I leaned over and gave her a quick kiss. "I know you don't know it, but you're perfect." I could see that telltale blush creeping up her cheeks again. I loved that I had that effect on her. My stomach growled. "Come on. Let's go make breakfast before he gets angry."

  Maddy made pancakes and bacon. I handled the very important job of making the coffee. My dad and Anthony came out just before it was done. They walked over and sat down at the table. I got us all coffee, and Maddy made everyone a plate and brought them over.

  When she handed my dad his plate, he looked at her a
nd said, "I didn't know I had pancake mix in there."

  She laughed. "You didn't, but that's what Carter wanted so I made them from scratch."

  Everyone started eating and Anthony looked up from his plate with a mouth full of food. "She's hot and she can cook? If you don't marry her, I will, Carter!" Then he winked at Maddy and started eating again.

  We all started laughing and then my dad added, "I second that."

  When she was done eating, she started cleaning up and went to work starting things for dinner. I came up behind her at the sink and lowered my mouth to her ear. "I can clean up since you cooked." I felt her tremble beneath me and I loved that she was affected by me.

  She turned around and looked at me. "I have this. Why don't you hang out with your brother and your dad? You don't get to see them a lot." Then she stood up on her tiptoes and gave me a kiss.

  "I don't know what I did to get so lucky and find you." I put my arms around her, lifted her up a little and spun her around. She squealed and laughed. I put her down and gave her another quick kiss. I started to walk away, but then I remembered I was supposed to help her. "Let me know when you want me to come help with dinner."

  "Please don't let him help with dinner!" yelled my dad and brother from the other room. Man, they really knew how to sell a guy out, but she just laughed and went back to what she was doing.

  My sister, Holly, came strolling in about an hour later. She'd slept over at someone's house and was shocked to see Maddy standing in the kitchen. I rushed over and introduced them. Holly went to get in the shower and I stayed in the kitchen to help Maddy. By help I mean hand her things she asked for and not touch anything.

  Dinner was absolutely delicious, and my family was officially as in love with Maddy as I was. This was the first time I ever brought a girl home and, if I had any say, she'd be the last girl I brought home.

  My phone buzzed in my pocket and I saw that it was Nicole.

  Happy Thanksgiving! What happened with Maddy yesterday?

  Happy Thanksgiving, she came home with me.

  Thank the Lord! Tell her I said Happy Thanksgiving and an early Happy Birthday!

  Birthday? When is her birthday?

  I knew she wouldn't tell you! It's on Saturday. The only reason I know is because of the roommate fact sheet I got. When I brought it up, she said she hasn't celebrated it in years. Be a good potential boyfriend and make it special for her.

  I definitely will.

  Madison

  Holly asked me to go shopping with her today and I told her yes. She was absolutely gorgeous. She had blonde hair that went down to about the middle of her back, blue eyes just like Carter, and she was tiny but still had curves. The fact that she wanted to spend time with me made me feel good. I wanted Carter's family to like me. I asked him if he wanted to come, but he said no. He was going to give us our girl time.

  We went to the local mall and I soon realized Holly really loved shopping. Like always, I had absolutely no money so when she tried to talk me into getting things, I had to pretend I didn't want them. She was always texting on her phone and I had to admit I was jealous.

  I saw her look toward the door and smile. When I turned, I saw Carter walking in. What was he doing here? He walked up to Holly and whispered something in her ear, then turned to me and swept me up in a huge hug.

  "You having fun?"

  "Yeah, I am. Your sister is great."

  Carter smiled at me and gave me a kiss. "I need to go run a couple errands, but I'll see you back at the house, okay?"

  "Sounds good!" He gave me another quick kiss, said bye to Holly and then left. I swear that after Carter left, Holly was buying twice as much stuff as she did before.

  "You don't want to get anything, Madison?"

  I did want to. A couple of the things Holly bought, I'd been looking at and wishing I had money for stuff like this. I didn't remember the last time I was able to buy a new outfit, and goodwill did not count. "No, I'm okay."

  "My dad always makes fun of me and says the only reason I work is so I can spend it later." She started laughing and I joined her because her dad was right.

  When we got back to the house, Carter was still out and I was exhausted. I said hello to his dad and brother, then told them I was going to go lie down. Tomorrow was my birthday, but I hadn't celebrated it since before my mother died. I always get a little down around this time of the year. I went to Carter's room, and I think I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

  I felt strong arms encircle me, not in a possessive threatening way, but in a way that made me feel loved. I opened my eyes and Carter was lying down with me, holding me in his arms. It surprised me how loving and patient he was with me. He was one of the most amazing people I'd ever met.

  He noticed I was awake and looked down at me. "Hey, you."

  "Hey, yourself." I was still upset about my birthday, but I couldn't be mad at Carter. I never even told him when it was. Chris knew, but he didn't mention it and we never celebrated it.

  "How was your day? Did you get anything?"

  He didn't understand either. "No, but I think your sister bought enough to fill an entire store."

  "All right, come on. My dad has dinner on the table."

  "Your dad cooks?"

  "Yeah, but instead of the oven, he uses the phone." We both started laughing. He always knew how to make me smile. After dinner, his dad called Carter and I into the living room.

  "I picked up a movie for you two to watch."

  He handed Carter a movie I'd never heard of-'Insidious.' "Dad, this movie is gonna scare her half to death!"

  "Well, then, I guess you're just gonna have to find a way to comfort her." He winked at Carter. Carter turned to me and I think he was unsure what to do.

  "I'm game if you are. As long as you promise to stay close to me. I've never watched a scary movie before."

  "Never?"

  "Nope. I guess that's another first for us."

  "Holly and Anthony are both at friends' houses tonight so they won't be home until later, and I'm going to go play poker with the guys. I'll see you in the morning." His dad walked out the door and we were all alone.

  We went into Carter's room and got changed. I lay down on the bed while he got the movie ready. He lay against his backrest again. I looked over at him, trying to figure out if I should lie with him like I did before. He held out his arm to me. "C'mon, come lie down."

  To say that I was scared by the end of the movie was an extreme understatement. I hadn't left Carter's side the entire time. He kept his arms around me, except when he'd rub my back or stroke my hair. When the movie ended, we were just lying there together.

  I'd never been happier in my life than I'd been these past couple days. I wanted to take the leap with Carter and I wanted to tell him that I wanted to be with him. The way he was rubbing me and holding me sent a chill through my whole body. I was starting to feel an ache in between my legs, and had to squeeze them together to help relieve it.

  I needed Carter and I trusted him. I wasn't ready to have sex, but there was no reason we couldn't do other stuff, right?

  I sat up and looked at him. He was so gorgeous. I leaned in to kiss him and he seemed surprised at first. Within seconds, he was kissing me back and running his hands up and down my sides. I needed him to touch me. I'd never wanted to be close with a guy before. Everything was different with Carter, though. I pulled back and looked at him. "I want you to touch me, Carter." The look on his face was priceless.

  "Maddy, are you sure? I'm not rushing you. You don't have to do anything."

  I loved that he wanted to make sure I was okay, and that he didn't pressure me. Chris was never satisfied, and he always wanted more. "I'm not ready to have sex, Carter. But can we do other things? As crazy as this sounds, I just want you to touch me and I've never wanted that before. I'm not going to lie to you and say I'm not scared, but I trust you and I know you're not going to hurt me."

  "Baby, I'll do anything you wan
t me to. I just want you to promise me that you'll tell me if you want me to stop, okay?" I nodded my head and he started kissing me again.

  I gripped at the hem of his shirt. He helped me and pulled it off. His body was beautiful. His chest was hard and well-defined and his stomach was like the pictures you see in magazines. I ran my fingers down his chest from his neck to his waistband. He let out a groan and crashed his mouth to mine. He ran his hands under my shirt, but I could tell he was apprehensive. I gripped my shirt and pulled it over my head. I hadn't been wearing a bra so now I was completely exposed.

  Carter looked up at me and smiled. He leaned down and started kissing my left breast. He kissed around it in a circle, then pulled my nipple into his mouth. I let out a moan I didn't even know I had in me. He moved onto my other breast and did the same thing. "Carter!" He kissed down my stomach and when he reached my pants, he kissed all along the waistband. He looked at me as if he was asking for permission. "It's okay."

  With that, he eased my pants and my panties off of me. He hadn't said anything. He was just looking at me. Then, he came up and pressed a kiss on my lips. "I love that you trust me with this and I do believe this is another first, Miss Stevens."

  "I do believe it is, Mr. James."

  He ran his hand down my body till he got to where I'd been aching for him all night. He ran his finger between my wet folds and slowly stroked me. It felt amazing and I knew he could tell how much I was enjoying it by all of the sounds I was making.

  Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, he leaned down and I instantly knew what he was about to do. As soon as his tongue touched me, I screamed. "Oh my God!" He laughed, but kept going. He kept his tongue there and, at the same time, his thumb found my clit. I felt what I only guessed that had to be an orgasm rocking through my body.

  I could feel myself shaking, and the waves of pleasure that were rocking through me felt like nothing I'd ever experienced before. It was the most amazing feeling I'd ever had, and I was glad that it was with him. After I caught my breath, I looked over at him. "Carter, that was amazing."